Joie de Vivre

Perhaps the most suitable title to a post of mine yet and with good reason, I suppose. Today was the second time in two weeks. There "he" sat, at my doorstep. I choose to address "him" as "he" cause I don't have the heart to address "him" as "it" (although "it" would sound rather cute) and, I could not discern "he" from "she" in this case. Plato didn't bother to either, as far as Love and Beauty were concerned in his most celebrated symposium . So, there "he" was, at around 7pm, all of not even a handful but "his" mite mightier than many a might! Just as Cecil Alexander had sung his hymn- All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small,...

"He" was, going on and on. Violently flapping "his" wings, to get that elusive take off on "his first flight" although "he" seemed awkwardly far from it. Chirping away loudly, surprisingly for "his little stature"; I am not sure whether "his" cries were directed at "his mother" for "his" helplessness or that "he" wanted to tell me how unrelenting "he" is and that "he" would certainly make it. But "his" cries were pitiful. "He" had fallen off from "his" nest located atop the wall A/C unit in the apartment next door. Fortunately, "he" crashlanded rather safely; fortunately I spotted "him". For the next two hours, I tried all that I could to help "him" out. I held "him" on my fingers and could see that "his" perch was just about fine and "he" was raring to take off every other moment. Sensing that "his" mum was probably around looking for "him", I could from "her" cries, I left "him" just where "he" had fallen to see if "she" would pick "him up. And didn't "she" turn up within the wink of an eye?!

I have lost count of how many times I have watched documentaries on animal behaviour as if they were just another piece of information but when it happened live before my eyes - mom failing to get son going and hence abandoning "him" to the forces of nature, not very many things get as close to being that depressing. After it got dark and the silence out of the lack of "his" incessant chirping got me, I stepped out again to look for "him". The spotlight (from a torch) was there, and "he" promptly chirped everytime a flash dawned on "him". It seemed comical and cute, out of "he" being excited, I hope, rather than bewildered although I fear the latter was more plausible. Concerned that "he" might have exhausted himself, I brought "him" into the house. "He" felt so much at home. I fed "him" some water which "he" graciously gulped and when I let "him" free in the living room, "he" ran around until "he" found "his" bearings and headed straight for me! It was probably the chill and "he" wanted some warmth- what can better the assurance and warmth of a human palm?

Left with little choice, I decided to turn "him" in at the small animal care centre in the Vet Med School, just as I had done with another of "his" kind not so long ago. Fortunately, a couple of friends agreed to give company and to "his" luck, "he" hitched a brand new ride! Thanks to Arvind and Harini (and Bhu's entertainment), he is now in safe hands. Not to mention Harini's characteristic cuddling of the poor thing* at "his" plight, or beauty I gather :-) , and Anjan's jocular baritone rendition of "Olimayamaana edhirkaalam.." (read "bright future...", a tamil song) to the little fellah. Indeed, after Darwin. After handing him over, I just quipped- what a fortunate chap "he" is, to get a joyride to life!

Mention to be made of my friend Gowri, for her prompt and able assistance on a Saturday evening, in time of need. I remember vividly, and ironically, how we discussed of the disappearance of sparrows from around the Indian households in recent times. All thanks to the advent of the cellphone and illegitimately high signal strength as a consequence of which the radiation levels have driven the Indian urban sparrow to the point of extinction. But, I suppose I've done my bit, the little I could, in their interest.

Onto the higher plane... I don't quite understand the Chemistry I enjoy with small creatures and why this has been ordained. I have done this in the past- twice for sparrows and once for a little squirrel and not a thought crossed my mind. But after today, I'm thinking.... of-

A sparrow's joie de vivre.
"His" mom who abandoned "him" out of despair that I took "him" away from "her". "Her" futility!
And, the futility of humaneness!

Sigh.

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* For once, I choose to call- "the poor thing"!

Oh Hell, how much more ThermoD?!!!

This time around, I am posting an article I received, by chance, as a bulk forward from a good friend of mine. Not to be dismissed as any random forward though. Needless to say any more, for this piece shall speak for itself. Just read on...



The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".